hi. yes. i still exist! existing is pretty cool, i must say. i have been immersed in a whole different world lately and i just do not have more words now. i dreamed of you yesterday. but no words then too. no sight either. (update still to come...)
2024-06-16 22:27:52 +0000 UTC View Postindulging in a slow striptease, dancing naked and free
2024-05-19 06:45:09 +0000 UTC View Postit is quite strange how often I think about camming, or being in this layer of reality. several times a day, at least. I get curious about how whatever I am doing could be transformed in this context, to do together or try, or to make it engaging to be seen or hear. I consider that for whatever I am experiencing, doing, enjoying, or perhaps just a little thing, like a beautiful set of art cards or something that made me laugh or a cool technology... or of course, a nice little sunbeam.
2024-05-15 00:43:48 +0000 UTC View Post"Goodbye
To all the plans that we made
No contracts
I'm free to do as I may"
Fitting lyrics for the end of my contract and also the launch of Hades 2 into early access. I don't really play games but I love to follow game design innovation, the art of it, the ways of engagement, the stories, the humor, the science and Hades had incredible music and voice acting, and well, design on all fronts.
Yesterday, I went into a trance in dance, so much so that I...
again, but in slow motion
I have been thinking lately of organizing some erotic group activities. Just being human, all dripping in oil, moving with the undertone of the song, blindfolded, unsure who is who is where
I went to a nude resort space for swingers and people who generally like to be seen in their sexiness. I guided people who have never danced before to dance with me in the pool. The water does something special, inviting people to move in slow motion, to feel the touch of the air as much as the water, to soften as they fall to move through space. They said in joy that felt it was easy. I am keen to visit again.
2024-04-30 08:22:45 +0000 UTC View PostA contagiously joyful throwback... and then my intention deviates half way through...
Lately, I have really enjoyed mixing improvisation of all sorts. To be making sounds of all sorts into soundscapes, experiment with instruments, get silly or strange in character, move in pedestrian ways and alien ways. I get friends together to do this when I can, and once we're able to let go, we can play and everything is possible!
We don't have a computer screen here but maybe the window could be our frame, our bodies the colors of the painting :)
Something for you to try: move as if there is water drops dripping of your hands. Or perhaps, water dripping off everywhere on your body. You can move slowly, subtly, almost imperceptibly, or perhaps, shake the water drops off onto your walls and floors. Imagine the water running gently down your skin...
laying in bed, my sheets smell like you
2024-04-21 07:03:22 +0000 UTC View Postthe beginnings of twerking. What a curious muscle isolation... I have to say, I keep accidentally doing kegals, positive or negative externality, who is to say? It is distracting.
2024-04-13 06:58:04 +0000 UTC View Post
You can keep finding good reasons to continue this conversation, or you can just let me massage deep in your ass? ¯\(ツ)/¯ I'm conducting research on the movement of your prostate a second before you cum, and given the specific nature of this project, your data is invaluable.
2024-04-09 02:06:54 +0000 UTC View Post
one of my favorite places is where the leg and the pelvis find each other, the tender edge of the butt, a transitional space yet a world of its own.
thinking of you. transitioning in my civilian job. drafting a POV update.
Could I borrow your water bottle to take a little shower?
Let me groove unabashedly for a few minutes before I get shy...
Feeling free, dancing naked :)
I was just stretching, standing folded over, touching my toes, pants pulled down half way. I thought of how fun it would be limited only to touch, taste, smell - no seeing, no hearing - and to be in a space for a long, long time, not sure when or who or how someone might touch me. It would be fun to create this space too.
A cheeky little peek for you! I love these kinds of in the moment accidents, brief coincidences. Unintentional, or perhaps subtly intentional... maintaining a bit of plausible deniability.
2024-03-27 20:53:50 +0000 UTC View Post
I love not being able to see, almost as much as I love not touching :) It is crazy to me how easy it is to sink into the infinite interestingness of every single thing when I am just feeling it, blinded, but indulging in all other senses. Find everyday objects around you, let them sit in your hand, let them touch you by just being there, in your grasp.
2024-03-26 16:10:33 +0000 UTC View PostMy joy at putting on a light show with one of your classics :)
2024-03-23 03:44:02 +0000 UTC View PostWhat a nice day it is today! Doesn't it just make you want to lay in the grass while I take a shower above you, sunlit through the trees?
There's a place I go to after a lot of ecstasy, when every cell of my body is warm and full. Well, I say "a place I go to" but really it is a "returning to a place I've been away from for a while, by accident." A returning to all of my flesh and fluid, expanding out from the space behind my eyes. That's where I am right now. I am sending you a lit...
Have you seen Zima Blue? It's an episode of Netflix's Love, Death, & Robots collection of unique short films. It's only 10 minutes, animation and narration. For me, it felt beautiful, cosmic, simple, a relief. Perhaps you'd like to see it!
I describe it here, which is a spoiler, but I feel it would be worth seeing/hearing later on as well. (Zima Blue was recommended to me. I haven't seen much else from Love, Death, & Robots, as at a glance it looks more intense in pace and g...
Skipping is faster than light jogging and a thousand times more fun :)
I've been thinking that perhaps I don't get enough cardio, so I started going for a run. Somehow, I haven't run since... it was a requirement in high school! A couple minutes of running and I'm sweating, trying to breath deeper. I jogged and skipped too - skipping is faster than light jogging and a thousand times more fun :) Highly recommend a skip a day. And ten minutes of jogging does a lot, too.
For com...
Have you read Existential Kink? I'm not sure if you'd resonate with all the language, but you may enjoy the basic ideas - we can find pleasure in pain in the bedroom, crave it, be enlivened for it, so what if we found pleasure in pain in existence? In all the situations and feelings in my life that I deem to be "bad" "unwanted" "shameful" "uncomfortable" "agonizing" "confusing" etc, can I get ecstasy from that specific quality, dive into the perverse pleasure of it, as if I wanted to experience ...
2024-03-04 20:08:01 +0000 UTC View PostIn the middle of a conversation with a friend, my Google Home just started playing music Pandora, and it was randomly an orchestra version of this song. I never use Pandora, and I have no idea what I said to activate Google, but I do enjoy music randomly entering my life and shaping that moment :) I often leave my playlists on shuffle and follow the auditory worlds as they arise.
I wonder what my Google Home knows about me, and how it would to converse as with a friend :p I imagine ...
Enjoying the glow of the light and water drops on my skin :) to song by Quadron, "Herfra Hvor Vi Står"
P.S. I watched the first episode of Avatar The Last Airbender, Netflix's new live action version of the original Nickelodeon animated series, and cried (from joy?) a half dozen times. The sudden tears surprised me often! For context, I really loved the original animated series and have read the continuation comics. There must be something about the big themes of the story, as well...
Wiggling toes and fluffy socks, showcasing ripped compression stockings, and joyful dancing eye contact!
P.S. I'll be online Feb 21st 130pm for a tiny bit, just testing something
One more sleep until tomorrow. Happy dreaming, see you then.
2024-02-17 21:09:53 +0000 UTC View Post0:33-0:49 - I find this deeply satisfying.
It's funny, some days I'm making cute jokes about butt waggles and biting my lip to hold back a giggle as I silly flirt, and a moment later,
I'm there, needing you to *consume me...* needing you to overwhelm me with the intensity of your hunger as I swallow you up
i promise i have more to say about my love of prostate massage very soon, but in the meantime, i hope you enjoy the days in which your nose takes in oxygen unfettered, cowboy
*put this chair on the table immediately at my photoshoot with victor von*
i wanted to send you some cheerful butt waggling today :)
2024-02-03 02:02:55 +0000 UTC View Post
This week, I've been engaging my muscles more fully and god, I have to say, it feels so *good* to stretch out again! To really reach and extend and squeeze and wake up every cell, feeling so full and dense and rich I might burst. I'd been holding back these months because of the leg surgeries, and I don't have to hold back anymore.
2024-01-31 22:17:13 +0000 UTC View Post
Look at me wide eyed at someone unexpectedly approaching :p
I had such a fun silly night this week and realized that I'd often ended up quite serious lately - thoughtful, analytical, meditative, sensing, creating - and I'd like to bring more humor and laughter and silliness and raw candor to anything that I do. For joy in dancing. For cheekiness in teasing. For trying things even if it'll be "bad," having fun with that. For lightness and openness in corporate work. For amusement at challen...