April Update

Hey guys, an update for April.

This one will be kind of short in terms of things going on as I am still preparing for Confuzzled at the end of May. I'm aiming to get at least two more pinups done for the convention which you may have seen me work on while streaming. Both are in the rendering stage and will be finished soon. I'm confident you'll see them posted here this month.

If so, I'll have to do something special for May.

Also, I keep cockteaseing you guys about something interesting for the past three months, BUT I am still in the process of getting some things in order for it. If all goes well I'll have an update this month.

So, for those of you who are interested in what to expect next, there it is.

Thank you for your support over March guys. Hope to see bring you more over April. x

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Some thoughts about my work that have been at the back of my mind for a while now I want to share. I can't make out if I'm being overly negative or actually what I'm feeling is ever real as it's all subjective, so take it with a pinch of salt I suppose. Also what I currently think is by no means me saying I will stop making art.

I am not trying to detract from your enjoyment of my art by sharing this either. I know it's not a good thing for artists to openly speak poorly about their work, to not take compliments or be overall negative about their art. It is (in a way) insulting to the people in your audience who like your work to do so and I have always felt this.

So firstly I want to say that I am very grateful for every comment I get from people under my artwork as it is always overwhelmingly positive and sometimes pleasantly surprising that strangers take an interest, especially in my characters, even when (I think) I don't draw them enough. (It sounds so generic because everyone says this shit, but I am serious, written feedback, comments and your thoughts truly are the best outcome of posting artwork for me.)

Overall, despite having the most free time, and spending the most time on art as I ever have in the past three or so years, I have noticed a steady decline in audience growth and engagement on all my platforms. While I get it, some people put work out to the void and get nothing in return (I was one of them once), trying to amass any new fans of my work has been like pulling teeth, especially compared to artists I see at random on my timelines.

This is not to say these things mean success, either. I have no desire to be famous, fame is effeminate and not useful for much. The best it can do is allow you to make art for a living, which, at least partially (as I currently work under contract) is the case for me.

Not to sound ungrateful or immature, but I genuinely feel my work is "Slept on" as the cool kids would say, and has been for ages. However, this leads to the second thought I've had for my art for a while to, and might be responsible for it.

I also feel my work has no life to it. That it is stilted, things don't quite fit, or pop yet and it's overworked. That's not to say I dislike my work. I love drawing and painting, but don't feel I have that flare real creatives have and that's fine. I suppose it's hard to innovate when I spend months on one pic, but that's me. Getting out of my habbit not to overwork stuff is almost impossible as I hate sloppy drawing. But this could be holding me back.

I dunno, just some thoughts I have been having and I'm almost certain actionable steps toward improvement are all but organic and part of the process. I've been at this now for almost 10 years and it's just ebbs and flows.