Nick's Advice Show (Starring: Slime) #87 [VIDEO]
Added 2024-01-22 06:06:25 +0000 UTC00:00:00 - intro
00:05:57 - My professor is pressuring me to do drugs, and I need to stay in their good graces.
00:27:32 - My partner does online sex work and I have anxiety over how this might affect my prospective political career.
00:43:07 - I'm 25, a woman, and I've never dated and at this point, I don't know where to start.
Comments
Shoutouts to the person who submitted the third question, because as someone in an almost identical position, the advice made me realise that all I really need is an extra voice occasionally reminding me that everything starts by someone just shooting the shit and seeing what happens. And if it doesn't work out, it's probably better off in the long run anyway. Also appreciated the vulnerability in sharing that lurking "is it me?" feeling that comes with rejection and getting older. Can make you feel a little delusional at times, so I appreciate how you guys addressed that. Hope the person originally writing in can find their feet and enjoy the ride too.š
jodie
2024-02-06 02:45:16 +0000 UTCProfessor question: If you have a grad student union, contact them. Immediately. This is what unions are for. You can be vague at first about a professor forcing you to do something. Union contract should have some protection against retaliation. Your future career is by no means guaranteed but *hand wave* you might be able to be guaranteed funding to finish your PhD because of being put in this situation.
Andrew Zick
2024-02-02 00:48:08 +0000 UTCTo be clear Iām not saying record just to blackmail or whatever. If something happens you will have proof. For example if you continue to refuse and he says itās not okay or tries to ruin your career proof is KEY since heās well known.
Jaded Kills
2024-01-28 08:40:43 +0000 UTCTo the first dude: 1. If you are in a one party consent state I 100% believe you should start secretly recording your sessions. 2. Think of the advice youād give a girl your age in the same scenario being pressured by a professor to take a mystery pill. Likely youād say thatās an incredibly dangerous situation to be in even if she THINKS sheās probably safe. That doesnāt change just bc itās two men.
Jaded Kills
2024-01-28 08:38:54 +0000 UTCWhy doesnāt this person just say theyāre doing sober January or 75 hard or something?? Like thereās gotta be SOME way to deny it that isnāt just āno thanksā
Becca
2024-01-26 02:19:14 +0000 UTCYou should get concrete evidence of being provided the pill to defend yourself if needed.
Bailey Cook
2024-01-25 19:49:44 +0000 UTCSmokin bones
Michael Sgrizzi
2024-01-24 19:44:37 +0000 UTCDude this episode is crazy
Michael Sgrizzi
2024-01-24 19:44:06 +0000 UTCAbout the pill, how is this legal. If this was me, Iād somehow get record of this happening and report it to the people at the school
Chance Roberson
2024-01-24 19:25:28 +0000 UTCMy advice for the phd dude is to make up an excuse. Like say you need to know what it is bc you started a new medication and donāt know how it will interact. Then you can either go with it once you figure out what it is or say the drug interaction will kill you. Or bring your own shit next time. The prof might just not want to be going alone but needs some shit to get his brain going so you can ācondoneā his thing by doing your own thing (or pretending you are) without having to take the same shit as him.
brenna
2024-01-24 17:27:25 +0000 UTCFire Ep
Presley Hudson
2024-01-24 15:00:30 +0000 UTCMy take is that they just watched good will hunting. They know a lot of terminology relative to college and the sort. And have a wild imagination. And the cherry on top of my conspiracy theory is they are 15 and Netflix just put goodwill hunting back on
Andrew Miller
2024-01-24 14:58:24 +0000 UTCMaking a hard read on the pill story. Shit sounds completely made up. Like finding out what the pill is. I can find a pill off of just the shape and color on Google and even faster if it has an inscription. I'm not gonna go into detail about other little details that sounded weird bc honestly no one cares and I don't either really, but just wanted to plant my thought seed into the world. If it is true that's crazy af and you need to write a movie script. I'm watching that on release
Andrew Miller
2024-01-24 14:54:17 +0000 UTCDon't think it really matters but R1 is a tier of research prestige for universities (R1 is the highest) and affects how much funding universities tend to get from government organizations such as the National Science Foundation
Deepto Chatterjee
2024-01-24 11:59:07 +0000 UTCbut on a serious note.. if you are in that type of situation, then you shouldn't assume they only do this to you. If you have the courage to speak up you might be saving someone else from being put in that position. Easier said than done though. A important factor is being exact with what is being said to you and the implications being made. Writing it down and establishing a record would be the first step.
Chris Cole
2024-01-24 06:21:00 +0000 UTCIt's pill time pussy
Chris Cole
2024-01-24 06:12:40 +0000 UTCit's so funny how girls think guys have it easier dating, and vice versa šš like i've always seen my guy friends in and out of relationships and assumed it was easier
jenny
2024-01-23 21:28:30 +0000 UTCbro just secretly film or record the guy trying to give you the pill and blackmail him
iggy
2024-01-23 16:23:46 +0000 UTCWas in the sauna when the name āProfessor Lamboā was uttered and I just lost it in front of like 6 dudes š
rory montreuil
2024-01-22 23:15:17 +0000 UTCYeah, absolutely fair. I was just using it as a measuring stick, but it definitely makes sense to not talk about that too much. For what little it's worth, you have my sympathy. It's a very tough spot to be in; academia is a fucking nightmare to navigate for things like these. A lot more grad students have horror stories like these than most realize, but yours is especially nasty. I think the advice of having a surreptitious recording is good if the advisor ever says anything damning outright when you pass on taking the drug, and it might be worth very gently building a network of people among the faculty that would be in position to stand against the advisor (meaning ideally either well-established faculty at your university or well-regarded visiting faculty if available). The more you have in terms of evidence and connections, the less likely you are to get a genuinely bad result. Whatever you decide to do, though, best of luck.
skillsw
2024-01-22 21:38:02 +0000 UTCModerately below the level of the Fields medal. I just want to remark that I did not say I belong to pure mathematics---I simply belong to a discipline that uses math. Naturally, this leaves open millions of possible fields. I say this because I am trying to conceal my identity as best as possible. I know that no one has any reason to respect the following request (because I chose to throw my fun lil situation into the aether), but I would greatly appreciate if we could limit speculation on what the "important award" may be. After all, guessing a particular award is equivalent to guessing who the recipient is, which would nearly amount to guessing my identity.
asdasdasd
2024-01-22 19:27:20 +0000 UTCAlso an academic -- if the advisor in question is an academic on the level of a Fields recipient, the university would absolutely bury everything involved. Reporting officially is definitely the right thing to do, but also very plausibly a career killer depending on how well liked they are (as opposed to simply how much prestige the advisor has).
skillsw
2024-01-22 16:47:02 +0000 UTCPHD Pill Guy for serious, gather some evidence like recording this interaction on your phone discretely and report this to the Dean and talk about it with your fellow studentsāthis shit it crazy bananas and not normal or chill
Maddy Keating
2024-01-22 14:21:21 +0000 UTCBro 100% needs to report this shit
Keaton
2024-01-22 12:01:04 +0000 UTCAlso along the lines of what Slime recommended, if you're not comfortable going to other faculty then talk to other PhD students about it. They might know what's going on and they're not gonna fuck you over
Deepto Chatterjee
2024-01-22 10:52:38 +0000 UTCAs someone who is involved in math academia, that first story would be huge if true. It sounds like they're saying they recently won the Fields medal or breakthrough prize or something, so that's like one of very few, very well known people. If it came out that they were pressuring students to take narcotics as part of their studentship, it would be massive news. It would either get buried by the university or the professor would be fired instantly (their tenure would not save them). If you're reading this, faux Will Hunting, I hope you blow the whistle on this shit cause this is not acceptable at all. If you can't find the strength to do it, try to switch advisors and make up a reason. I know the risks seem similar, but it is probably the best avenue to take if you want to continue your PhD at your university and don't want to make a stink. About what Slime is saying, academia is still fucked up right now, but it is much less common that one professor in particular has completely dominating power over a subfield. I don't think this guy will be fucked if he blows the whistle; they could probably find another advisor at another university who's still very good and won't shun them.
Deepto Chatterjee
2024-01-22 10:49:29 +0000 UTCEverything is safe behind the pay wall guys don't even worry. Your anti-white rapper racism is a secret I'll take to the grave
Jordan Staigmiller
2024-01-22 06:13:36 +0000 UTCwoah
Nathan P
2024-01-22 06:12:34 +0000 UTC
