distortedview

Promo Code For Patrons / Next Drop

Happy Holidays, Freaks!

Just wanted to drop a note and say thanks for supporting DV on Patreon! As you probably know, every year I open the DV store and stock it with a mixture of cool DV merchandise and silly weird crap. This year is no different: from 20th anniversary shirts to Strawberry Shartcake mugs to Anime Timmyboo Face Hole Waifu Pillows - there's something for every freaks over there.

• This holiday season, DV patrons can save 10% off their entire order by using pr...

  2024-12-04 16:42:39 +0000 UTC View Post

DV Umbrellas!

Got the umbrella sample in and I think it looks good. It's a go! I'll be working on getting them out to higher tiered patron ($20+ level) soon!

Thanks again so much for continuing to support this stupidity :)

Sticker Time!

• Updated this post to include instructions on how to message me in the Patreon Mobile App. See below.

I finally got the last of the stickers in the mail, so I'm ready to start sending them off to you.

I wanted to do something special for more patrons. For those who pledge at least $20 (and I urge you ALL to pledge at that level) I routinely send out DV merchandise as a perk (beach towels, beer glasses, DV logo plushies, tshirts, etc) . I'll be sending out t...

March 2024 DV Logo Plushie Pillow For Higher Tier Patrons

Hey Freaks!

As promised, here is what $20+ tiered patrons will be receiving in the coming weeks. I think these things are really cool - they came out great and are very soft and plushy.

Also, I've been wanting to do something for all of my patrons, no matter the tier they are at. So, in April I'll be sending out sticker packs to any one of you monsters who want them - absolutely free. More details will come after I get all these damn pillows sent out.

Praise Grulock!

J...

Thanks Patreons - DV Store Promo Code!

Just wanted to say thank you so much for supporting DV's Patreon! I know it ain't much, but I have a promo code here for you to use if you're thinking about buying some stuff in the DV store.

25% off your order - just use promo code 1800ASSHOLE at checkout.

(Please dont share this code. it's just for my Patreon buddies. Plus, I can see who's using it. BIG  BROTHER IS WATCHING)

Higher-tiered ($20+) patrons - You'll be seeing another post soon with inform...

I Like Beer! It Good For You! $20+ Tier Freak Stuff Coming Your Way

Thanks so much for continuing to support the show! If you are pledging at the $20+ level (and you've provided your address here on Patreon) be expecting a new delivery in the coming week or two-ish.

This pint glass is a contender for the DV store this year. When you get it, let me know if looks good. 

You're the first freaks to get a piece of merchandise with the new logo variation. ...

DV Store Promo Code(s)

Happy Holidays Freaks!

Just for you patrons, I've got a promo code you can use on your next order of fine, quality DV merchandise.  https://www.distortedview.com/store2 

Get 10% off your order of $25+ with promo code PERVERTMARRIAGE at checkout. 

That's not all! If you happen to also be a Sideshow member, check out the Sideshow site for an additional 10% off promo cod...

DV Physical Perk Coming Your Way

Healthy and plentiful semen production relies on a well-hydrated body.  Your creepy uncle Tim cares about you and wants you to have thick creamy loads, thats why he's sending Patrons at the $20 level one of these insulated bottles. They are emblazoned with a multi-color DV logo, to let the world know which podcast is keeping your jizz count high.

Bottles will be going out this week.

 Double-wall construction means that hot liquids can remain hot up to 12...

Cougar Piss - Finished

My fun exercise in making dumb animations is finally done. I took old DV audio from a fake commercial for "Cougar Piss" cologne and made an animated commercial for it. 

Patron Podcast 01/29 - The Dead Dog Diaries

Hey Patrons!

As I mentioned on the show, I wanted to share with you my thoughts and experiences with DEAD DOGS. It's a real uplifting half-hour of power. I liked: it's only 27 minutes. Still, I hope you enjoy what seems to be just a therapy session for me as I work some shit out. 

Cougar Piss

Afternoon freaks!

I'm still messing around with that animation software I mentioned yesterday. To practice, I've taken an old DV audio commercial for the male cologne COUGAR PISS and put some animation to it. It's about a 3rd of the way done.

All of the character in the cartoon were first video recorded - and they are all me, including the cougar on the bottle. I got on all fours and everything. This is the stupid, boneheaded shit I waste my time with instead of being a productive...

Here's Something Too Awful To Share With The World

One of the most requested things that patrons have told me they would like to see is more behind-the-scenes stuff. I plan on sharing audio/video of how I record the show in the future, but today I wanted to show you something different that is truly awful. It's also something that say got me excited. See the video above.

I love doing the podcast and I hope to do it until I die at the ripe old age of 45. That being said, I miss experimenting with different formats / technology. Right bef...

Help With New DV Project + Hear It First + Store Promo Code!

Hey Patrons!

Listeners have been asking for a new "DV Primer" - a special episode that helps introduce new listeners to the podcast and the magical world of Distorted View. I did one of these primers many, many years ago but its times for a new, updated version.

On the show, I plan to explain who frequently mentioned individuals are (Linda Finkle, Raymon, etc etc) and the origins of sound clips, recurring segments, etc etc. This is where I need your help.

You know I have a s...

Stickers And Masks

Hello patrons!

I sent out free stickers to some of the higher tier patrons earlier this year, and I'm sending masks out this weekend (for $20+ patrons, check the previous post I made a little earlier tonight).

As promised, I can finally offer the stickers and masks to all of you fine freaks. It took a little bit of effort to figure out how to do this, so I apologize for the del...

First Dibs On DV Masks

Well,  this stupid pandemic isn't going away. As a matter of fact, 22 states are reporting an increase in cases. It's time to cash in on this bitch. As always, you Patrons are getting the goods first.

Here's the deal. If you are at the $20 or higher patron level, you will get one of these fine looking masks for free. I'll send them right off to you. Just let me know what style you prefer.  (if I don't get a response from you in the next week or so I'll pick one for you)

...

Watch Me Record An Episode Of DV (in 9 minutes)

Today sucked! My allergies were KILLING ME. I looked/felt miserable but I tried not to let it affect the show. You be the judge!

Freaks always ask to see me recording parts of the show, so I thought I'd do something for you Patrons.

I turned on my cam and recorded today's whole DV experience. Rather than boring you with hours of me looking for dumb stuff to share, dicking around with audi...

Let's Call The Party Line And Test My Voice Changer

Hey Freaks!

I got a new toy in the mail today (NO, not something from Adam&Eve) - A voice changer!  This might be useful when I call those gross party lines and want to sound like a girl. 

I'm going to test my new feminine voice and see how convincing it sounds - by luring men in to verbally sex me up.

Hope you enjoy -- and yes, there were some real perverts on today.

Sticker Pack #1

Hey Freaks!

A lot of you have asked for stickers over the years, and we've done a few here and there, but never a complete sticker pack. So, let's do one!

Patrons who are pledging $10 a month or more can get these all for free. Thank you so much for your generosity and support over the years. Be on the lookout for another post with information on updating your address to make sure the stickers get to you.

For all other patrons: as soon as I take care of the $10+ patrons, I w...

Patron Podcast: 02/17/20

Back here with another personal podcast. Today, I share with you two journal entries from 2002 to give you an idea of where I was at that particular time in my life. It was kind of depressing.

Not sure how interesting this is, so only listen if you really really really care about the mundane daily musings of a early 20-something Timmyboo.

The Most Useless Application Of AI / Neural Nets

Back in the early 2000's I started making dumb videos for my website. In order to keep the file sizes to a minimum, the resolution of these things were like 320x240. To give you an idea of what videos look like today, a typical television/monitor resolution is 3840 x 2160. What I'm basically trying to say is: my old videos are the size of a postage stamp and look like ass when all blown up on today's screens.

The videos didn't look that great to begin with. They were shot on crappy came...

Patron Podcast: 12/16/19

Hey Freaks!

Sorry it's been awhile!  I've been spending the last month or so working on the DV store and merchandise (get 10% off with promo code HOWDAREYOU) but I have returned today with a new personal podcast. 

I talk a little bit about Christmas and the love life of my teenage nieces, but the bulk of the show is relaying a bonkers dream I recently had where I, Timmyboo Henson, am a REAL AMERICAN HERO.

Enjoy!

Current Patreon Voicemail Line

Hey Freaks!

I've had a few new members ask where to find the voicemail number. Here it is!

(646) 820-7741

Occasionally this number will change, but I will give you a big heads up when it does. Until then, use this number and I look forward to playing your calls on the show.

-T

My Top Three Favorite Japanese Game Show Games

Here's a little bonus video for Patrons this month. I may end up posting this on the Sideshow or making it public for all in the future, but for now its just for you! Consider it an early access video. I was just messing around today, learning Final Cut Pro and decided to make a video featuring some WTF Japan content.

Bleached Dolls And My Offensive Tweet History

Just sort of shooting the shit today. I talk about how awful children take care of their favorite toys, and I track down some of my offensive tweets that will probably ruin any future career I might have.

Attached a screenshot from the furry podcast setup I mentioned

Personal Podcast 3- My Mom's Bush

It's been too long! I'm back with another podcast answering a few questions about me, my show, and inexplicably, my mom's vagina. 

Thank you all for sticking with and continuing to support this Patreon account. More new, weird, and wonderful things are on the way. 

Here is the bathroom mold that is killing me to this day:

And here is some further bathroom decorating Joe an...

DV Thank You Boxes Are Finally Shipping Out

Hey Freaks!

Sorry that it has been so long since the last update. I want you know how much I appreciate your continued support on Patreon and really do plan on posting more exclusive content in the following weeks. I fully expect to post the next "personal" podcast in the next few days.

One of the upper-level Patreon perks is a goody box filled with some DV merchandise. A few weeks ago (probably months at this point) I asked you to give me your shirt size. Obviously this is so I c...

Patreon Podcast #2 : Comedy Influences

I share with you guys some of the shows that I think shaped what I think is funny.

Untitled Patreon Podcast Episode 1

Hey Freaks!

Here's the episode of the patron-only podcast! Let me know what you want to hear in upcoming episodes. Also, I'm looking for suggestions for a name of the podcast. I expect to do 1-2 of these a month. 

You can add this Patreon-only podcast feed to your favorite podcast app. In the upper right hand corner of our Patreon page you should notice an "AUDIO RSS LINK". Just copy the URL and add it to your podcast app.

Thanks so much for supporting the show and me!<...

The Hubris Of Inexperience

The abomination above is the first comedy video I ever made as an adult. Actually, that's not entirely true, as it gets worse: this is the DVD-style commentary we made of the first comedy video I ever made. We really thought highly of ourselves, I guess.

A little bit of history: before I started the podcast I was already a failed netcaster. The Real-Talk Network, Distorted View's previous home, had went bust in 2000. After that I did a short version of my show ...

Rat Sex Artwork Auctioned Off On PBS

Hey freaks! This video will eventually be public and I'll share it on Facebook and Youtube, but I thought you guys deserve to have access to it before anyone else.

Thanks to ruralgaming in the discord for sharing the original video!